i would punch a child for taco bell
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
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