my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
This is the high leading the old right now
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
