I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Randomize
