The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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