Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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