i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Randomize
