My girlfriend figured out who you are.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Randomize
