Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
