They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
