Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Randomize
