Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Can you bring me the toilet please
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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