Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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