ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
