I think i sorta joined a cult last night
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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