Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
