Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Randomize
