did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Randomize
