Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
