i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Randomize
