Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
