Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Randomize
