So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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