Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
