and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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