I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
