never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Randomize
