There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Randomize
