so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
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