Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
do herpes really smell.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
