She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize
