i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
