ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
