I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
