I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Randomize
