I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Randomize
