The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
