Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
He kissed a someone with a penis
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
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