Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
