so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
