Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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