You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
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