Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
