My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Randomize