i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Randomize