I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
Randomize
