Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
