If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
