dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
