Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
