i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
