i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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