Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
