where does the pee come out of this thing
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Randomize
