I am spending my child support on dildos
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
The uberlube is also flammable
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
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