this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize