We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
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