New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
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